"When you're tired of the world, when times feel like a living hell, when it feels like you have failed and fallen short of your expectations...it doesn't hurt to believe in a better day...coz even wounds,no matter how deep, will fight to heal..and they eventually will..........." - Kim

Smile mu Nay. It hurts but always keep a smile. :) - Len

Just pasting here what I read from my friend's page. Nakakatuwa lang kasi yung mga lines..masakit din yung iba :(

1.  It hurts to love someone and not to be loved in return, but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that preson know how you feel.

2.  Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance in a relationship and find out you still care for that person.

3.  A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never  meant to be and you just have to let go.

4.  When the door of happiness closes, another opens but oftentimes we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

5.  The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling that it was the best conversation you've ever had.

6.  It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

7.  Giving someone all your love is never and assurance that they'll love you back.  Don't expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

8.  There are things you'd love to hear that you would never hear from the person whom you would like to hear from, but don't be so deaf as not to hear from the one who says it from his/her heart.

9.  Never say goodbye if you still want to try.  Never give up if you still feel you can go on.   Never say you don't love a person anymore if you can't let go.

10.  Love comes to those who still hope although they've been disappointed; to those who still believe although they've been betrayed; those who still love although they've been hurt.

11.  It takes a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

12.  Don't go for looks, they can deceive.  Don't go for wealth, even that fades away.  Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make dark day seem bright.   Hope you find the one who makes you smile.

13.  There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them in your dreams and hug them for real.  Hope you dream of that special someone.

14.  Dream what you want to dream.  Go where you want to go.   Be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

15.  May you have enought happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy.

16.  Always put yourself in others' shoes.   If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

17.  A careless word may kindle strife, a cruel word may wreck a life, a timely word may level stress, a long word may heal and bless.

18.  The beginning of love is to let those we love be just themselves, and not twist them with our own image-otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.

19.  The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything.   They just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

20.  The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your failure and heartaches in the past.

21.   When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.   Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

---compiled by Blue Quill [forgot the year]

It's good to know na may mga kaibigan ka pa din na masasabi mong "totoo". Mga kaibigan na masasabihan mo ng problema at malalapitan kapag nalulungkot ka. I'm so happy I have lots na macoconsider ko na mga "diamonds" ko.

Ngayong Pasko, malungkot na malungkot ako kasi I did not hear from the only person that can make my Christmas complete. Pero kahit papano, ok na din kasi nakausap ko yung mga kaibigan ko. Sabi nila, ok lang daw yun at wag ako mag-iisip ng mga bagay bagay.Tama nga din naman. Paskong pasko nagsesenti ako..hehehe.

Hmm, ang totoo. Isa lang naman ang wish ko. Ang maalala nya na nandito ako at naghihintay ng kahit isang text lang nya. Kahit nga isang bati lang ng Merry Christmas, ok nako. Di pa naman tapos ang araw...siguro naman...sana naman, maalala nya.. nandito si Nini...naghihintay.

Turn it inside out so I can see
The part of you that's drifting over me
'Cause when I look you're, you're never there
But when I sleep you're, you're everywhere
You're everywhere

Tell me how I got this far
Tell me why you're here and who you are
'Cause every time I look
You're never there
And every time I sleep
You're always there

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone

I recognize the way you make me feel
It's hard to think that
You might not be real
I sense it now, the water's getting deep
I try to wash the pain away from me
Away from me

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

And when I touch your hand
It's then I understand
The beauty that's within
It's now that we begin
You always light my way
There never comes a day
No matter where I go
I always feel you so

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
You're everywhere to me
And when I catch my breath
It's you I breathe
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone

You're in everyone I see
So tell me
Do you see me?


P.S. You're everywhere with me Dale ko! Kaluguran daka.

"Take chances! No matter where you end up and with whom, it always ends up just the way it should be.Your mistakes make who you are.You learn to grow with each choice you make. Everything is all worth it. Say how you feel and be the real YOU!"

it's Christmas and I'm here ...alone and working in the office. Watching movie, chatting with friends..talking to friends on the phone.. ginawa ko na lahat para makalimutan ko na mag-isa ako. 

Ang sakit. Napaiyak nga ako kanina. Napakasakit ng ganito. Mag-isa ka habang ang lahat ng tao ay nagpapakasaya. Nakakalungkot isipin na desisyon ko na magpunta dito sa Singapore. Nakakahiya mang aminin...nagsisisi ako sa decision ko. But who it is to blame? Ako pa din. Wala naman pumilit sakin to decide and do things that I don't want.

1st attempt: Network Busy

2nd attempt: Unreachable

3rd attempt: Network Busy (again!)

4th attempt: Busy (may kausap na sya)

5th attempt: After 35 minutes, nagring din ang phone nya!

First ring...second..third...fourth...fifth..........hanggang sa "No Answer"

Ulit ulit...pero hindi nya sinagot ni isa sa mga tawag ko :(

Ang sakit. Yung tipong kahit walang kutsilyo na nakatarak sa puso mo eh ang hapdi hapdi. More than that...gusto mo umiyak pero parang naubos na. :(

 

Ayaw ko na. Di ko na kaya to! Sobrang sakit na nito. Gusto ko nalang makalimutan ang lahat.

 

True love never destroys but it builds character....true love never fails but it lasts a lifetime!

When a person walks away...does that mean he/she gives up?  Are these the same - "walking away" and "giving up"?

I DAMN DON'T THINK SO! For me, walking away and giving up are totally not the same thing. Well, on the rules of life that I've seen, you might relate the two but they  don't definitely convey the same idea.

Thinking of the things I've been doing for the past months (or should I say a year already.. )..I was only doing the part of "walking away". I've been to and from places because I thought I needed time and space to think things over (on second thought, I was only thinking of it but was not really doing it I guess). But as always, I end up here...again to where I've always had been. I've tried so hard to walk away. To walk away from the only person that makes me really happy and complete.  You'll probably get the idea that I'm deeply in love with this person and I don't think  I'll ever feel the same way again! He's my Dale and nobody can ever replace him in my heart.

It's been more than a year already and  I'd say I've been tremendously happy but have significantly screwed up things. I've complicated my life...his life....our lives!

YES! I have to admit that it was all my fault! I accept the fact that I'm the culprit for all these mess and I'm the one being judged upon for all the circumstances. Above all these, I don't and will never regret loving him. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Yes, I might have felt the deepest and biggest hurt but allowing myself to love him and be loved by him have made all the hurt and sacrifices worth it. For me, everything we had was all worth fighting for and worth keeping.

"If you really want to forget him, you can forget him even if you are here." My friends would always say that walking away doesn't really mean forgetting him. If I'm determined enough to forget him, I can do it and I don't even need to go out of the country.

The big question is, AM I REALLY READY TO FORGET HIM?

There goes the line...."Kaya ko ba? CAN I GIVE HIM UP?"... To give up all the things that we shared and just keep them as memories. To accept the fact that all the things that we had together will only be good for keeping and not doing again. To not see him and talk to him (even drop him a call and have even a short conversation) and miss the best part of my day. Just a thought of it kills. Maybe that's the same reason why I always answer "Hindi ko kaya kasi mahal na mahal ko siya!".  Not being with him makes my day incomplete and yet just the sound of his voice when I hear it on the other line made the incomplete whole again.

The conclusion: Yes, I walked away. I walked away but I did not give him up. I thought of it but I did not give him up ( I guess I just can't). How can I if he is the first person that I think of when I wake up and the last before I go to bed and never left my mind on those seconds and minutes in between. i can't give up all the memories that have made my days of life worth living and worth remembering.

Ahhh....those memories....the smiles, the laughters, even the tears that I cried....all the things that we shared together.

I guess I will still love him on my own special way. I will still think about him as my sweet "Dale"... the "KaKa" of my life.." the "ILING" the I had even for a while.

Walking away is my way saying I'll let God and let things be. I think that's one way of doing what they always say: "you have to do some things that you don't wanna do"

In this fight of love, it's not winning and losing that's important. Win or lose? ... it makes no difference.

In this struggle for love, I realized.......it's just not me......but everyone's got one!

I WALKED AWAY BUT I DID NOT GIVE UP MY DALE!

 

- Enough said! -

An idea came from a friend: What if one day you wake up, the situation is different...you are in that person's shoe and that person is in yours? What will you feel?

I was quiet.. Silence filled the air. To be fair to myself, that was not the first time the idea was brought up. I once.... (actually many times) have asked the same question to myself...What if we change places?

After few minutes of silence...I told my friend... "You know that I'm not a bad person but things are just out of my control. For once I allowed myself to make the word "ME" important. Just this once, I gave myself the chance to be happy. Masama ba yun? Hindi ko naman sinasadya and you know that I always I feel guilty. Guilty for things that I didn't really mean to happen. It came...I felt it...and....I FELL! Before I knew it...I've fallen really really hard!

FRIEND: YOU ARE IN CONTROL! You know the situation from the very start! It's all up to you know.